What I Want

*Red highlights are things from the KettleWorx workbook

What I would like to "Make Happen" on my body: 
I would like to be thinner. Not a skinny skeleton man like I was 10 years ago, but "normal".
I would like for my knees to not hurt like hell when I bend or run.
I would like to be able to kneel and get up from the floor without having to hold on to something.
I would like to be able to run if I need to.
I would like to be able to play sports.


How I feel about my body and health right now: 
I feel gross and uncomfortable. Being this way makes me feel depressed because it feels like there's a wall in the way, but the wall is me. I feel trapped and I don't feel like I am living the best life I can be living. It REALLY does feel like all this weight is pulling me down.
Not just because of how I look, but because I feel like I'm almost an invalid since I'm limited in what I can do physically. It also pulls me down socially because I have very little self confidence.
I also don't like being out of breath (smoking is a problem there and I'm working on that as well). I don't like drinking to be the only thing I like to do because it's what I'm used to and I feel like I can't do much more than that since it's easiest to just sit around drinking.


==

Wow that was le feels :P
Felt good to get that all out there though.

I Got A Stats For You!

Here are my stats and "body fat percentage".

I don't know how accurate the online body fat percentage calculator is but it's the best I've got. (I measured myself the best I could with a measuring tape from my tool box).
I'm not buying any silly gadget to come up with a number. The number I got is scary enough and will encourage me to try really hard to lower it.
41.85%! :( 

I know I said I was 230 pounds in the first post. Noooo, I didn't gain 10 pounds since yesterday lol. I just got the number wrong.
I'm 240 pounds.

I was 260 pounds this time last year and managed to lose some weight just by changing my lazy habits a bit.. but clearly not enough considering that I have not lost any weight since the end of summer.

The Dreaded "BEFORE" Pics

Well, this is embarrassing.
But I guess that's the point, and the reason I want to change.
If I could post these gross photos of myself online for the whole world to see; then I figure it gives inspiration to others to do the same, AND it will help me want to change even more.

I probably could have fixed up my hair for the photos but it's night time and I'm not about to put product in my hair just for like 10 mins and have to wash it out.
This isn't about hair! lol :P

I cant wait to get rid of this weight! 

Old Ryan

Hey there! My name is Ryan and I'm a 30 year old fat guy (230lbs) who drinks a lot of beer.

Just thought I'd start a simple Blog to track my progress to becoming the best version of myself.

I'm sitting here on my 4th pint of cheap beer (PBR) and eating a small bag of chips while listening to SynthWave. I got a bit of a buzz on but not much since I drink a lot.

This is my last night of drinking stupid amounts of beer.

Besides the chips that I'm eating now, I usually eat pretty good stuff. Not at the right times, but I eat good things.

And I've already been working out with a kettlebell for a week now. My thighs are killing me. But it feels like good pain.
I GOTTA keep going cuz I have bad knees and I would rather them not be bad.


I worked out today so I can't workout tomorrow but I have a PDF I have to go through tomorrow so I know what I can eat.

In 2 days I start a 42 day workout and diet thing called KettleWorx. It's gonna be awesome! Hard.. but awesome.
I just GOTTA DO THIS!

It feels like I gotta get over a wall. Not just for my weight and maybe a bit of a drinking/boredom problem, but for everything else in my life too.
I wish I could have started sooner but you can only start when you're ready.

Tomorrow I'm gonna post the dreaded "Before" photos.

That's all I got for my first post. I'm not a professional writer. I just need to get it out.